Paper Hearts

The last week has been one of those roller coaster weeks. You know the kind, full of those emotional ups and downs...

My Mammie died last week. My last living great-grandma. Low.

I got to spend time with my grandparents and cousins. High.

Some of my favorite people in the world came down this weekend. We had a blast. High.

It seems like my week would have ended on a happy tone, doesn't it? It should have. But it's now Sunday. It's the beginning and the end of the week. It's day zero, if you will. And now my friends are hurting, and I don't know how to help them. They're going through things I don't understand, and I'm stuck sitting here, wishing that somehow my fumbling, inadequate words could somehow heal the hurt, all the while knowing that they can't.

I can't fix paper hearts.

Never

Lots of things should never happen.

Finding out that someone you knew was murdered by a serial killer is one of them.

You may recognize this picture from one of my very first blog posts last June. Abby, Me, Holly, Lauren, and Faith in the middle. It was taken June 20, 2008. Who would have thought that just a little over a year later, one of us would be dead. This afternoon, I found out that last weekend, on July 4th, Abby died as a result of being shot by the Gaffney serial killer. This killer had taken 4 other victims, the fourth was her dad. She was helping out at her dad's furniture store, and for some reason, this deranged killer decided to end both her and her dad's lives.

She was just a girl I met at SummerSalt last year. I didn't talk to her again after the day this picture was taken. But we hung out for a week. We were in a Bible study group together. I remember walking down to the lake with her, just talking. I remember her being really sweet. She was the kind of person that you're supposed to recognize at camp the next year, go up and talk to them, ask how they've been. You're not supposed to find out a year later that they were murdered. Never.

So, I'm sitting here, wondering the purpose behind my writing this. Wondering why I'm crying right now over a girl I hung out with for a week a year ago. Maybe it's the sheer wrongness of it all. No high schooler should be murdered. Never. But maybe it's just the fact that this girl, who I talked with, walked with, put my arm around, is now dead. Shot. Murdered.

Now I start to wonder God's purpose behind this. Why did I meet Abby, hang out with her, then find out she was killed? Why did our lives intersect for that short amount of time briefly before hers was taken from her?

I can't imagine what her family must be going through. Losing not only Abby, but her dad as well. Please keep the Tyler family in your prayers. The unthinkable happened to them.

4th Reflections

Conceived in liberty
Birthed through blood
Formed by faith
Tainted with sin
Ripped apart
United anew
Worn by war
Struck by depression
Struggled against evil
Exploded with discovery
Drifted from truth
Assaulted by hate
Retaliating
Backsliding
Waiting...

Praying.

God bless America.

About Camp...

So it's been a week since we got back from camp. Sorry it's taken so long to get this written. I was wanting to post my thoughts and pictures at the same time, but as I'm still waiting for some pics, I figured I'd better go ahead and write this out and put up pics whenever I get them. So, here it goes!

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy which depends more on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." - Colossians 2:8

That was the theme verse for SummerSalt 09, and what an experience that was!

Worship/Big Group - First off, Matt's teaching was amazing, more so than last year! I mean, everyone learned and/or was convicted of so much. The truth hit us "like a truck." Truths about being desperate for Jesus, about cherishing Scripture. It was incredible! The worship time was amazing as well. The songs weren't as good as last year, but they were still really powerful. Some of my favorites new songs we learned were "Our God Saves," "Lift High," "Everlasting God" (a different song than the very popular Lincoln Brewster song), and "My Savior Lives."

Cell Groups - I was really blessed to be chosen (along with Holly, Lauren, Marissa, Daniel) to be in the catalyst cell group which is a group especially for the leaders of the youth group. I enjoyed so much being in a group with other youth leaders and sharing with and learning from them! Our Bible study times were really great, and there weren't any awkward pauses waiting for someone to say something because everyone was really open!

Church Groups - I enjoyed this time with just my youth group. I especially liked hearing from some of the middle schoolers, what they were learning and their thoughts on different things. I think it really hit us leaders that week that within a couple of years, all us "founding members" will have graduated and that we need to be training the middle schoolers now to be the next group of leaders.

Games/Activities - My favorite activity we did as a cell group was the high ropes course. This was the second time I had done one, though it was a good deal different this time. Last time, the ropes course was very much an individual thing, only one person could be on a section at a time. At SS, though, everyone had to be on the section before anyone could get off on the other side. This involved a lot of teamwork, which was interesting since we had only met each other the day before, but I think it's one of the things that got us close as a group from the beginning.

Random Hang Time - Whether we were hanging out at the pool during free time or eating rice krispies at 11:30pm, I always enjoyed just chillin' with my friends. They're such fun to be around, and we had some good times together at camp!

Soooooo... those are my thoughts on camp! I'll probably throw a few more tidbits out there when I post pics, but for the most part... that's it! Yay, glad I got that off my to-do list! :D

I hope I can post some random stuff tomorrow, if I have time, about what's been going on lately and whatever I can come up with to say for Independence Day. Right now, I want to go to bed.

Nightie-Night!

Memorial Day Thoughts

Ugh. I hate that this is going to have to be so short, but I'm going to need to be in bed in 20 minutes, so we'll see what I can get done in that amount of time.


Today was Memorial Day. Usually, it means nothing more than a day off work or school and a crowded lake. But this year, for some reason, I saw things differently. I actually thought about what today is all about. About our soldiers. About how they sacrifice their comforts, their privileges, their safety, their lives, so that we can have ours. And they do all this under extreme opposition. Not only from the enemy, but from home. And the freedoms they have fought and died for, are being threatened. Not only from the enemy, but from our current administration. But I'm different. To me, being patriotic doesn't mean wanting to give the government more money in taxes. It means placing my hand over my heart when I say the Pledge of Allegiance. It means proudly singing our national anthem, however off key I might be. It means staying faithful to the One Who made our nation great in the first place, and asking Him for His much needed grace and undeserved mercy. It means being thankful to our military. Our heroes.

Thank you.

Oh Preserve Us!

Just thought I'd share a couple of prayer requests!

(1) I've got the SAT tomorrow morning *moans*. I've taken it before, and it wasn't a pleasant experience (5 hours + hard chairs - much stretching = misery!). I'm going to try and focus on my math score this time, since nobody really looks at writing and I did good on critical reading before. So I'd appreciate your prayers!!

(2) Our drama group is doing a program at my Grandparent's church Sunday evening. It's still pretty rough, even after a 3 hour practice! So please pray that we'd remember lines/parts (especially my 2-page monologue) and that it would be a blessing to others.

Thanks guys!!

Call Me Doubting Thomas...

So, for the past 21 days, our church has been raising money for our building campaign, Advance for the Sake of the Gospel. To make a long story short, we have to be out of the building we're currently renting by August 31st, so we've been praying and looking for months for the right property to move to. We found a plaza (oh yeah, who's diggin' the thought of church in a grocery store? me!) that we want to buy, but we had to have 40% of the money as a down payment for the loan... around $1.3 million. We had 21 days to get this money. I was skeptical. It seemed impossible (first mistake :D) that our church, with a large percentage of our congregation being college students, could possibly raise that much money in that amount of time. Yes, I prayed (though not as faithfully as I ought to) and I gave, but deep down inside, I was afraid; afraid to trust, afraid of being let down by God. I've always sorta kinda struggled with this... how much faith I should put into God answering my prayers in the way I want and feel like I need Him to. I've been hesitant, because I wasn't sure how I'd handle a situation where I had earnestly prayed to God about a real need (like a building for our church to meet it), and He didn't give the "right" answer. So I held back. But God didn't. Tonight we found out the we had, in hand, $1.6 million; more than enough to be able to get the loan for the building. Impossible?

I know I've learned a lesson from this experience, but since I can't seem to articulate it properly (my brain... how could you fail me now?), I won't attempt it. But maybe, just maybe, the next time a situation like this comes around, I won't be so quick to pull another "Doubting Thomas."

Why I Love... My Youth Pastor!

I figured it was high time to do another "Why I Love" post, and because of some... news we got this week, I think Matt, my youth pastor, is the perfect topic. So, a little background info. This Wednesday, Matt and his wife Sarah called us on the youth leadership team to a meeting before small group, and, to make a long story short, we found out Matt and his family are leaving after the summer. Now, if that was the whole story, I'd be very much more sad and bummed out than I am right now. Fortunately, it isn't! Matt will be going to plant a church only about 40 or so minutes away from here, and he'll get to be the head pastor, which he'll be amazing at. Also, another exciting thing is that this summer, we'll get to go over there and help him get things started! I'm really excited about that part. I mean, how many opportunities do teens get to help start a church? But even with all these great, positive things coming out of his leaving, I'm still going to miss him SO much, and here are some reasons why:

• First of all, I love what he's done, or to put it more correctly, what he's let us do with or youth group! I love what our group has become. How many youth pastors let their students re-build their student ministry from the ground up?! He has an uncanny amount of confidence in us as leaders, and encourages us and helps us to "do hard things."
• His teaching is amazing, which is part of the reasons why God'll use him greatly as a head pastor. He has challenged me in a lot of ways (especially the personal discipline sermon in Bluffton) and given a new meaning to different verses and books (specifically Hebrews, which we're going through right now).
• He's just a ton of fun to be around (*thinks back on fond memories of the past year*) and he really cares about us. I'll really miss what he brings to youth every Sunday. I feel like he's been my first "real" youth pastor.

So, as I wrap up this post, I'd like to ask for your prayers in a few areas. Please pray for this new church plant. It's in an area where it sounds like it's really needed. Also please pray for Matt, Sarah, little Corrie, and their new baby that's due next month (!!!!) as they're moving and trying to build relationships with and minister to the people in their new location. And finally, I'd really appreciate your prayers for our youth group. It's always tough "loosing" a youth pastor :(.

Well, guess that's it for this post. Love you guys and will talk to ya'll later.

And the Final Total Is...

UPDATE:
Forget the $18,000... it's now $21,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, tonight at dinner, Mom and Dad shared with us the final total of all the money raised for our "Corny Miracle". The final total was... (drumroll please)... $18,000!!!!! Apparently, someone had given us $10,000!!! WOW!!! Didn't see that one coming; isn't that just like God?

An Update on Our "Corny" Miracle

Here's a little update on our miracle. We found out that they didn't raise "a little bit over $6,000". They actually raised $7,500! This means that we may now be able to get some food for the area pastors too!!

A "Corny" Miracle

So you guys, I've got an incredible story for ya'll. Here it is...

Last week, my Uncle Clay called and talked to my dad, and my dad talked about our upcoming trip to Zimbabwe and how the people there are literally starving. God put the people's needs on my uncle's heart, and he just couldn't stop thinking about it, so he told my dad he'd give us some money to buy food for the people. In the same conversation, Dad learns that Uncle Clay had lost his job at the bank (due to the economic situation). Dad emails Uncle Mark in Zimbabwe and asks how he can turn whatever money we get from Uncle Clay into food for the people. Wednesday, my Uncle Clay stands up in church during announcement time and shares what God placed on his heart about us having so much here in America while the people in Zimbabwe are starving. After the service, people start coming up to Uncle Clay and start giving him money to give to us to take to Zimbabwe. Then, Uncle Mark emails my dad back. He tells him that his home church had recently purchased 12 tons of corn for the staff at the hospital, so they could eat. But now, that corn is all gone, and the staff is hungry again. So, in faith, Uncle Mark had just ordered 12 more tons of corn, costing about $6,000, having no idea where the money will come from. It's decided that whatever we get will go towards that. Earlier this week, my Uncle Clay called again, and my dad tells him that Uncle Mark had ordered some corn, at $500 a ton. Uncle Clay asks how much he ordered, and Dad, not wanting to put pressure on anyone or make anyone feel that whatever they give won't make much difference on a six-thousand dollars worth of corn, tells him he doesn't know. Today, my uncle stood up in church and shared again. He held up a ear of corn and said, "We wouldn't think anything of taking this ear of corn and throwing it in the woods for the deer, but I know of people who need this to survive." The church took up an offering this morning and again tonight. My uncle just called my dad a little while ago and told him that the church had raised a little over $6,000!! Isn't that insane?!? God is providing for His people in Zimbabwe, and all the while proving to us that He is so much bigger than we can imagine!